It’s going to take some time this time
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心地よい音、よくできました！
変更される可能性のあるいくつかの小さなこと：
going の代わりに gonna という単語を使用する必要があります。
0:25、I really feel out of line」は「I really fell out of line」*であり、リズムはずれています-それは最初のものと同様であるはずです ライン。
大したことではありませんが、1:09 と 2:16に、「could we」 は「could」ではなく「we」を分割する必要がありました。
（Google 翻訳経由）
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Pleasant sound, nicely done!
A few small things that could change:
The word gonna should be used instead of going.
At 0:25,t* “I really feel out of line”* should be “I really fell out of line”, and the rhythm is off - it should be similar to the first line.
Not a big deal, but At 1:09 and 2:16, “could we” should have split “we” and not “could”.
Thank you for being so condescending.
Please accept my apologies.
I’m not sure how you read my response as being “condescending”. 
I’ve heard and enjoyed a number of your other songs, so I was already aware that you did good work. What I wrote was an accurate to how I thought about the cover: the vocal is pleasant, and the tuning is nicely done.
I’d assumed that your intent was to do an accurate cover, and thought that perhaps there were some errors in the transcription you’d used to create the song from.
As for the translation, your post doesn’t indicate fluency in English, and I checked your YouTube channel as well. It seemed wrong to assume that everyone speaks English on this forum.
Again, I apologize that you read this as condescending rather than helpful. That certainly wasn’t the intent.
Cheers!