If I dare to make a few comments (hoping to be constructive)?
With this song and Hanakuma Chifuyu AI- Galaxy Star (Synth V Pro- Original Song) I feel that the voice is too loud compared to the backing and could maybe work better with a little soft reverb to stop the vocal sounding so stark. The vocal sounds too clinical as if recorded in an anechoic chamber.
My thoughts, YMMV, Sorry
I know I need to get better lol. I need to play around a bit and still get better with DAWS etc.